My first compliment for 2019 was 💥💥

My first compliment for 2019 was   !

I got dressed in, what I think is, my simplest outfit (see image below) and added a scarf to the ensemble. I had donned my shades as I had to go on the road to buy something.

Simple look

So I’m walking to my destination…  No compliments whatsoever came my way. I hadn’t even noticed.  I bent the final corner and crossed the final street. Destination 20 steps away.  That’s when it started….

He said, “Wow.  You look lovely.”

I smiled, said thanks, and kept walking. He passed but kept talking…

“Wow, … your confidence.” Pointing from my hair down to my feet, he continued, “That’s working for you. You look really good, with that fancy scarf”.  By this time I stopped and turned because, well, this girl likes compliments and I’m not picky about where they come from (not ashamed as I go days without hearing a word at times). Continuing…

So I smiled again and thanked him.  He kept going, “wow, such white teeth! You look good, everything about you.  Those shades”.  I replied, “Want to see the eyes?”

He said, “now I’m intrigued.  Show me the eyes”.

I watch way too much TV so just visualise this move.  I bent my head down a little to remove the shades with my right hand.  Closed my eyes until I held my head high again and then bam! OPENED MY EYES slowly (cray cray but fun).  He stepped back and was like, “wow!”.

At the part where I’m walking away now… He looked back and said, “you’re doing something right”.

So this girl did her business, made her purchase and stepped out onto the street, smiling.  Rocking my shades.  And then I saw compliment guy again.  Same spot.  We passed by each other. He stopped and said…

“You made my day and are the highlight to my year so far, thank you.”  I smiled and said you’re welcome.  We continued walking away and he said, “I’m going to look at you walking away…. Still looking”. I laughed, held my head up, and crossed the street.  This had me smiling all the way back to the office.

Moral of the story? Lighten up, take a compliment, and simply enjoy the moment.  

How to handle singleness as a young adult (Part 3)

Let’s recap Part 2, the state of singleness is the perfect time to 1. Heal and be complete, 2. Learn about ourselves, and 3. Walk in our purposes.

Striving to walk in purpose is the reason I wake up every-day knowing I have a long list of things to do:

Write blogs
Record videos
Plan youth and young adult services at church
Encourage a few people
Do my secular work
Complete my secretarial duties…..

And when I’m focused on blogging and vlogging, I forget about everything else. Including my desire to be married.

4. Properly deal with sadness.

Do I get lonely? Not often, honestly.

Do I feel sad at times? Yep! Til mi all bawl.

We all will reach a low point when we wonder what’s going on and why nothing seems to be progressing where r/ships are concerned.

What do I do at that time?

A. Cry if I must
B. Reassure myself that nothing is wrong with me and that I am worthy of being married because I’m a child of God. Some times we degrade ourselves at this point but let us not practice that anymore.
C. Talk it over with God

5. Celebrate with others.

My final point is that on this single journey, we aren’t truly happy if we can’t celebrate with those who are getting engaged, married, and having children.

If we’re complete, know ourselves, are walking in our purpose, and properly deal with our sadness, then that will mean we can truly celebrate with our friends when they move to the next stage. I get happy when my friends get engaged and I do my best to support them during their planning of the wedding and on the day.

I never entertain the thought of “what about me” when my friends announce their engagement. It’s not about me at that point, it’s about them and rejoicing with them.

If you can’t do this from your heart without thinking about yourself then you’re not handling singleness well at all.

An example, a co-worker got married a few months ago. When I found out, I was over the moon with joy. I felt so happy for her and I stopped to pray for her and bless her new union.

That is how we all should try to handle singleness. By literally rejoicing with others, even if they aren’t close friends.

I close with this reminder: singleness is a gift that enables us to DO WHAT WE WANT, WHEN WE WANT, AND HOW WE WANT. It’s the absolutely perfect time to work on ourselves to heal and become whole, to understand who we are, to serve God without pausing, and to celebrate with others.

If we can’t be happy when we’re single, it’s going to be challenging to be happy when we’re married. Happiness is a state of mind, not a r/ship status.

If you’re single, be happy! 💃💃

Prayer: Daddy, help all of us single people to get this part of our lives right. Teach us to dedicate this time to do your will and mature as individuals. Help those who currently feel as if they’ll be single forever and never experience the joy of marriage. Be our guide and our friend. Help us to change where we need to and celebrate with others. Amen.

How to handle singleness as a young adult (Part 2)

Serve God with JOY. Read Part 1 here.

I get up every-day and my mind is on how I can please God. It’s all about talking to him for direction. However, some mornings, I find myself thinking about a particular individual but that only leaves me feeling frustrated. Therefore, what I’ve decided to do is to channel that energy into my purpose.

As a single person, take the time to:

1. Heal and be complete.

I am whole and I don’t need a man to complete me. Likewise, you don’t NEED a partner to “complete” you. Two shall become ONE. Not two halves shall become ONE.

2. Learn about yourself.

The worst thing, I can imagine, is to be married to someone who doesn’t know you. And they can’t know you if you don’t know yourself.

Singleness is the time to fully realise what you like/dislike, what level of crazy you are on the crazy scale, how you behave/react in different situations, and it’s the time to transform from a caterpillar to a butterfly.

In my state, I have learnt to be bolder about some behaviour that I normally kept hidden out of fear that people may laugh at me. But now, I’m like, ‘who cares about them, if I can’t be myself then they aren’t people I want to be around’.

3. Walk in your purpose.

Knowing that you’re doing something valuable and worthwhile for the kingdom helps. It helps to keep me from worrying about the future and gives me joy when a task is completed.

Yes, we may feel discouraged at times and lose hope. But if we have something greater to POUR OUR ENERGY into, then we will have less time wondering why we haven’t met “the one”.

I pause here. Look out for Part 3 while you reflect on what you need to apply to your life from the list above. If you’ve been doing some of those, please share how it has been going for you, I’d love to hear.

How to handle singleness as a young adult (Part 1)

I haven’t done any research as I’ll speak from my experience.

For the sake of clarity, singleness is the state of being unmarried. Singleness means you do not have a husband or wife. Even if you are in a relationship, according to the law of the land, thou art single. That is the definition with which I’m working.

How do I handle singleness?

I see it as my opportunity to do WHAT I WANT, WHEN I WANT, AND HOW I WANT. This includes serving God wholeheartedly. If we, single people, focus on the fact that we’re not married then life will be very sad.

I know of a few young married couples who literally had to cut down the many activities they did, where they went, etc., and most limiting of all, they now have to consult their spouses before doing ANYTHING.

I will say that they gladly and lovingly do this, but why should we singles focus on that now?

Question: How do you currently manage your singleness? Are you throwing yourself into your purpose or just waiting for “the one”?

A friend of mine reminded me that singleness is a GIFT. Meaning, it’s an opportunity to be seized. If you got a house as a gift, wouldn’t you live in it and start fixing it up?

Of course!! So fix up your single life, boo.

We all have to approach singleness differently as we’re unique in who we are. But I must say, it is imperative that we BE HAPPY!

Serve God with JOY, man.

P. S., look out for Part 2.

Thank you!

I now have 50+ followers and I want to take the time to say a big, heart-felt THANK YOU!

I do not take your likes, comments, or follows lightly. With every new comment, like, or follow, I tell Daddy thanks for allowing you to find my blog. Thank you!

I love you! Blessings.