Gosh, I’m so thankful for the tests.
My prayer: Daddy, I am choosing to remain hopeful in spite of the changes in my life. It’s easy to give up. While I feel like saying, “i can’t be bothered” or “I’m tired of this”, I’m choosing to believe in you and in your promises. It’s not exactly easy at this point but I do know you’re a faithful father. That alone is enough to keep me believing that your plans for me are good and that all this is for my benefit. Please, strengthen me to work and worship in spirit and in truth.
I believe Daddy wanted me to know the following:
The true test of character is not in saying you’re sorry and promising to change. The true test is actually repenting (never repeating\turning away from) the wrong when the opportunity comes back around. The night before, you promised to change your habit of doubting me when your hope is differed and when the situation is not going as you foresaw. But that wasn’t your test.
I led you to Numbers 14 to show you a wrong pattern in your life. Whenever the circumstance proved too difficult or unfavourable in your sight, you’d give up and say that you’re better off without it or that you no longer want it. Those are words and the power of them to manifest comes from your tongue. You recognised the negative pattern and you apologised and promised to change.
You thought that was enough. But I had to test you so that you’d realise that you truly repented. With every wave of doubt, sadness, frustration, and painful realisations I allowed to pass your way, you remained steadfast. You repeated aloud that you may feel sad but you trusted in me. That, my child, is true repentance; facing a familiar road but choosing to walk in the opposite direction.
I will be with you until the end and all the promises I made to you shall come to fruition. XOXO
My prayer: Daddy….thanks for the test to help increase my faith that I shall overcome and that I can indeed change all my bad habits. Thanks for the various ways you reminded me of your faithfulness today and the strength to declare life-giving words.
Dear reader: you may wonder why I write out my thoughts as if God is actually speaking to me. That’s because my faith says he is and just as the thoughts come to mind, I record them. I don’t stop to convert them from a different perspective as just as I address Daddy, he responds directly to me. If your faith is not at that level, that perfectly fine. But I wish you’d see him not just a “God” but as your loving father who speaks with love and gives you his personal attention. Try this technique and watch him prove to you over and over that he’s the one who indeed spoke to you and it’s not a figment of your imagination. Comment and tell me about the technique you use to listen to him.